


Without you my world will fall apart

by Morgendaemmerung89



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Talking, bed sharing, confessing, finally those two dorks talk about their feelings, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 23:42:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgendaemmerung89/pseuds/Morgendaemmerung89
Summary: Sherlock and John have to share a bed during a case and finally talk.





	Without you my world will fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> I know I´m late for the party, but this is a gift for @alexxphoenix42. It´s a thank you for her fic recs.  
> And @chriscalledmesweetie let her make some promts to write for her. I joined and this short piece took me a while.  
> I hope you will enjoy.
> 
> PS: There will be no sexy times. ;)

„I´m sorry, guys. Seems like there is only one room left for two“, said the young woman, with way too much make-up, behind the reception with an apologizing look. She smiled friendly at while he accepted the key for their room.  
“Second floor, last room on the left”, she pointed out in the direction of the stairs with her left hand, full of rings and bracelets and long, red nails.  
John thanked her and called for Sherlock to guide him to the room.

Sherlock had accepted a case (he said it was at least an eight!) outside London, about half an hour away from Newport on the countryside. They knew they would have to stay at least one night here. 

While the Detective followed him upstairs John said: “She said they only got one room left for us. Thought that’s fine since it´s not the first time we share a room on a case.”  
Sherlock only hummed as an answer, his fingers tapping quickly on his phone. At least he wasn´t ignoring John again.

Things were settled down step for step after what happened. John was drawn to Sherlock again. He let go of the illusion of his seemingly perfect marriage to Mary, his non-existent love for her and moved on after her death. After half a year John moved back in to Baker Street, sharing his old room with his little daughter. They knew it wasn´t an arrangement forever, but just now they needed it like that. Having each other around like before the incident with Mary.  
Rosie was fine. During cases like this, where they had to spend the night elsewhere, Rosie spent her time at Molly´s. Sometimes she just spent the night downstairs with Mrs. Hudson or Greg came by to pick her up.  
There were times when John was overwhelmed with affection in their daily life. When he came home from work and found Sherlock on the floor playing lovingly with Rosie, or when Sherlock was the only one able to calm her down when she screamed the whole night. She loved Sherlock, Sherlock loved Rosie and John wouldn´t be the one to part them, especially, because he himself didn’t want to lose this life again. He wanted Sherlock in his life as close as possible!  
After a while they were taking cases together again and John enjoyed spending time with Sherlock like that. He knew that the marriage to Mary wasn´t what he wanted and he knew exactly what he wanted now. John wanted Sherlock. In every way! Since they first met he loved the Detective. The blogger just didn´t knew if that was what Sherlock wanted too. Because of that he kept quiet and enjoyed what he could get.  
John was very happy, when Sherlock invited him to move back in to 221B together with Rosie. 

Walking down the second floor, John counted the doors.  
“Here we go”, he said and picked out the key to enter their room. The door swung open, John lifted his gaze from the doorknob and froze, which ended in Sherlock bumping into him.  
The room wasn´t just a room with two beds, it was a room with one big bed, decorated with petals and folded towels. This room was supposed to be used for romantic weekends.  
They had to share rooms on more than one case by now, but their beds were separated any time. This time, they would have to share one bed!

“What the- John! What´s the… Oh…” Sherlock complained until he saw the bed. “Are you sure this is the room they meant, John?” 

It took John a moment to gather things together and over his beating heart, he cleared his throat.  
“Yes actually. Yeah- um… she said there was only this room left. I mean I can sleep on the sofa if you want. Just if it bothers you to share-“  
“No! No it´s fine. I don´t mind – if you don´t mind” Sherlock stuttered and blushed lightly. “If there isn´t another room, it´s okay.”  
“Okay, fine. I don´t mind, too. Then just let´s go in finally. It´s late and we still have to unpack” John responded with a beating heart, hoping Sherlock won´t notice.

Since before the whole incident with Mary they hadn´t shared a room on a case. When they had to spend the night, they always had two rooms. And before, even when they shared a room, there were always two beds.

This time, John knew, could be different. He could feel the newly awakened tingling sensations between them. Sometimes there was this strong tension, drawing them to each other, forcing them to lock their gazes and neither of them wanting to end the precious moment.

Now John entered the room, threw the bags on the bed and started to unpack his own. He didn´t know how he would survive this night, with Sherlock so close and soft and warm. Hell, he didn´t even know if he just imagined the locked gazes and the standing a little too close to each other at a crime scene. The big, slender Hand on the small of his back, when Sherlock let him enter the room first, which never failed to give him goose bumps.  
Sherlock slipped out of his coat, rummaged around in his bag, found his washing bag and headed to the bathroom.  
“I´ll go first, if you don´t mind” he murmured and slammed the door behind him.  
John huffed out a little laugh, smiling and shaking his head. Sherlock would never change, wouldn´t he? Not that he wanted him to change one little bit! John had always loved him, the way he was.

Sherlock took his time in the bath and when he stepped out John had cleared the bed and was sprawled all over the bed on top of the blankets. He fell asleep while waiting for the bathroom.  
So Sherlock tried to find a place on the bed and covered himself with an edge of the blanket, trying not to wake John.

John woke up, because he was really cold and uncomfortable in his clothes. Still dizzy from sleep he tottered to the bathroom to use the loo and, at least, getting out of those bloody clothes.  
After flushing and stumbling out of his trousers, he fought with his jumper, to get rid of it, on his way back to the bed. Too lazy, to put on his pyjamas, he pushed back the blanket and nuzzled his face into his pillow, feeling more comfortable now, and enjoying the warmth next to Sherlock.  
He fell fast asleep again, without noticing.

The next time John woke up was, because felt hot. Not in a bad way, but hot enough to let him sweat. He tried to roll on his back, but found out he wasn´t able to. Suddenly he was very aware of the reason he felt hot.  
Sherlock was wrapped around him, nearly entirely. Their legs tangled up, his head resting on Sherlock´s biceps, who´s arms held him tight. John was facing Sherlock, or rather he was facing Sherlock´s chest.  
He felt, like his heart would jump out of his throat, while he breathed in the unique scent of the expensive soap.  
Glancing up, through his lashes, he found Sherlock wide awake, eyes shimmering in the dim light of the streetlamp under their window. The detective caught his gaze and John wasn´t able to turn away anymore. It didn´t matter, how long they were lying there, just staring at each other, all tangled up.

John was the first who broke the silence, clearing his throat. “Would you let me go?” he whispered.

“No” the simple responding from the deep, dark voice Sherlock´s.  
“But I sweat” John complained, trying to shift a little bit away from the man he loved, hoping, Sherlock wouldn´t recognize his racing heart, tilting down his head.  
That only brought the detective to tighten his grip around John and whisper like a defiant child “I don´t care! Won´t let you go!”  
“Why?” John asked, daring to hope. He could feel Sherlock´s heartbeat speeding up as he spoke barely noticeable  
“Because I want to hold you close. If I let go, I am afraid, that you will disappear. Exactly like it happened, when I woke, after so many dreams I had about this!”  
“Wh- Sherlock, what does this mean? I mean, does it mean, what I think it does?” John murmured against Sherlock´s throat. “Because if it doesn´t, then please let go and don´t keep my hope up for something that I wanted for years now! I wanted to be near you so badly, wanted to hold you and to kiss you. I always thought you weren´t feeling that way and I was fine with that. It was enough just to be with you. But if you´re like this, then it´s really hard for me not to touch you, because that’s really something I want to do! I…” he trailed off, sucking in a shuddering breath, and raising his glance again. Even now, he didn´t dare to close his arms around the man he loved so badly since the first day they met. John had placed his arms awkwardly in the tight space between their chests, forcing a few centimetres of cool air circling there.  
Sherlock was holding his gaze, more open, than he ever was before. Showing so many emotions in his glittering eyes.  
“I dared to hope, that I got it right. That it wasn’t just my imagination, my wishful thinking, what happened the last few weeks. I felt so close to you, as I never did before and I wanted it. I always wanted to be precise! You said you weren´t gay so I kept it locked away until lately you were sending signals. Known or unknown and I really didn´t know what to do and if I got the right impression. I was afraid, that you noticed and that you were only testing out if you were right. I´m not good at this! Losing you as a friend was no option earlier and it still isn´t! I was looking forward to finally see you again, when I came back after two years. It was so exciting and I felt so nervous. You pushed me away and back then I couldn´t understand why. When I understood, that you will marry a woman I just met, I felt like dying! I thought you would leave me forever and I couldn´t have handled this! Without you my world will fall apart. Did you know that you´re the only person, who can silence my brain for a few seconds? That you can help me sort out things better, when you do? And all it needs to do this is a little smile or your hand on my back when everything is too much!” Sherlock spoke softly and began to stroke Johns back who stared at Sherlock with wide, wet eyes. Hearing all of this was so much more than he ever imagined hearing once.  
“God, I´m so sorry, Sherlock! If I only wasn´t such a dork! If I only had the guts to do what I really wanted! I hurt you so much. I married a woman I didn´t really love, because I was angry with you and too afraid you will notice what I felt. I mean, I did like Mary, at least the facade she built. She was there while you were gone and she sort of helped me to move on from you. When we found out who she really was, I told you that she wasn´t supposed to be like that. You know why? I wanted someone completely different than you. Because someone similar couldn´t have lived up to you. Someone similar would have reminded me too much of the man I lost. She was completely different, because I needed it back then! Other than that it would have broken my heart! Not being able to be close to the person I love the most, but sharing my bed with someone who reminded me about him? I couldn´t have done that! And then you were back and I already had proposed to her. I was afraid, you know. Looking back, I don´t even know anymore what I was afraid of. I just know that I did so much wrong in the last months! I shouldn´t have married her! I should have left her, as soon as I knew, she wasn´t who she pretended she was! But she was pregnant and I wouldn´t leave my child alone with this crazy woman. I stayed to protect Rosie. Staying with her destroyed me more and more. Not being able to be with you the way I wanted broke me apart. I wanted to be back at Baker Street so badly! I wanted to come home!” It was easier to talk like that. All tangled up in the dark, warmth spreading through his limbs, fixed by the look of soft blue eyes. More confident with every word his own lips left, and with every word Sherlock spoke, John slipped one arm around Sherlock´s waist, to pull him closer.  
“After what happened to Mary, I didn´t know what to do anymore. I felt so guilty, because Rosie lost her mother. I felt like it was my fault and the only way to cope it was blaming you, Sherlock! I punished myself, whilst avoiding you. All my anger and hatred against myself was pushed towards the only person I ever loved! That wasn´t fair, Sherlock and I am so, so sorry for what I did!” His voice grew hoarse while he spoke. A big lump built in his throat as his eyes began to water. John tried to blink away the tears, but with a light sob a single tear rolled down over his nose towards the biceps his head was rested on. The arms holding him tightened their grip, holding John save between them.  
“I know, John” Sherlock spoke “I know you didn´t mean it. It´s okay!”  
“No, It´s not! Sherlock, It´s absolutely not okay, that I hit you! I treated you horribly and you would have all the rights to break ties with me! Yet you don´t. You have no idea what this means to me. What you mean to me!” John yelled.  
“You know, John, when I left after shooting Magnussen, I wanted to tell you something. I was too afraid to tell you and lied to you again! I may as well say it now.” Sherlock sighted nervously and took a deep breath.  
“I will risk everything by telling you this, but I can´t keep it to myself any longer. I love you John, I always have loved you, and holding you close like this is more than I ever thought I could get! If you want, we can pretend that this night never happened, that I never said the things I said! But just now, I want to stay like this until tomorrow.” His voice became quieter with every word and it sounded more and more aching.  
John lifted his hand from Sherlock´s waist, to reach for his gorgeous cheekbone. Gently stroking John began to shift a bit trying to bring himself at eye level with Sherlock. He smiled a painful smile, his eyebrows gathered together.  
“God Sherlock, do you really think, I would like to forget, what you just said? That the most gorgeous, brilliant man I ever met, told me, that he loved me? I wouldn’t want this not to happen for a million Pounds! Sherlock, I love you so much it hurts! Don´t you know, how happy you made me with your confession? I love you, and I want what happens right now as much as you want it!”  
He searched for a sign not to lean in in Sherlock´s face. When he didn´t find any he shifted closer until their faces were close enough to seal their lips with a light tilt of their heads. John wanted to let Sherlock decide if this was something he wanted and left the last centimetres for him, waiting nervously, his hand still rested on Sherlock´s cheek.  
It took Sherlock a moment until he perceived what happened. With John this close, his brain had stopped, his breath got stuck in his lungs and his heart was racing, like his brain usually did.  
Tilting his head, Sherlock to close the gap and his eyes fell shut.  
At first it was just a light brush of lips touching, but as soon as John moved his own pair of lips against Sherlock´s soft cupids bow, they pressed their mouths together like there were no tomorrow for them. John felt a shudder running down his back, letting the tingling grow in his chest.

After what seemed like an eternity they broke apart, catching their breaths. Once again a pair of pale grey eyes found a pair of blue ones. Soft and warm and full of love, they were smiling at each other.

John began to tangle his fingers into black curls and caress the skull beneath, earning something like a purr from Sherlock. He leant into the touch, closing his pale eyes.  
With a little smack on the tip of Sherlock´s nose, John mumbled “Lets sleep now, love. We have to get up early tomorrow. Rosie is waiting for us. Her… dads.”  
Sherlock felt his heart swelling in his chest as he heard Johns words. Giggling he kissed John good night. He knew, they had a very long time now, to prove their love was right, to be raise Rosie, to be a family.

Something Sherlock never thought he would have.  
A Family, HAPPINESS!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my Fic! I hope you enjoyed, and if so please let me know.  
> If there were any mistakes i´d be glad to be corrected. Let me know what I can do better.  
> Right now I don´t have someone for reading beta so... Yeah. Could be full of mistakes, since I am not a native speaker as well.


End file.
